I need your drug-induced advice! I am a working mother of two. My son is 9 months and my daughter is almost 3. I have a husband whose idea of help is taking out the diaper trash...when I really want him to sit and spend time with us. I love my kids (I'm legally-and morally-obligated to say that)...but most of the time I just want to say F-it! and grab my passport and head to Canada. Or maybe pull a "Gone Girl." Whichever is easier because I'm so tired. How can I be more present and appreciate my life? It's hard to be appreciative when I'm up making a bottle at 4 am while listening to my husband snore? PS- I do love him. SO maybe cast a love spell to make me feel the love more??
My heart goes out to you. If I were in your position, I throw my phone in a river and pretend I've never heard of them before.
I think this calls for a heart to heart with a tiny hint of manipulation to remind him that you are the shit. Tell him very sweetly that you need some mace because men are constantly sexually harassing you in the Trump era. This is not only a gentle reminder for him that you are a beautiful woman, but also probably true. Some people don't know that men aren't the only family members you can make jealous...you can also make your own children jealous! Constantly say you are considering having another child, hopefully twins that are great at sports. This will perk up everyones desire to appease you through the ART OF COMPETITION. If we give men and children what they want without making them compete for it, they start to think the deserve it. And then we feel overwhelmed, unappreciated and always have dark circles and that one zit on our chin that never goes away.
As a bonus, here is the best days to cast spells on your family. I can tell you really love them and are willing to stick it through which is a huge deal and I have so much admiration for it. You sound like an amazing wife and mother. My ambien is telling me you need to also be an amazing seductress of life so you can take some bubble baths in the meantime.
Monday: FEMALE ENERGY
Tuesday: DEALING WITH CONFLICT **** important for you!
(Ambien-orinated therapy (AOT) is my unpatended school of thought that allows people to see another side to their problems. (i.e if your boyfriend cheats on you, cognitive behavioral therapy may encourage you to break up with him and work on yourself. Ambien therapy would instead focus on the strengths of revenge, and empower you to french kiss his older brother.) If you think ambien therapy is right for you, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll answer your questions before I pass out.)