This week on the Pulitzer nominated podcast Adderall and Compliments, I announced some pretty huge news. I would be writing my first gay hump story starring RHWBH star Kevin Lee and the horse farrier that Lisa Vanderpump ordered for her miniature ponies' sparkle hooves. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please stop reading. This blog isn't for you.
I learned pretty quickly that I would sooner write a hump story about Annabelle than Kevin Lee. He is my little asexual flower. So if you came here to get some hot, pulsating gay sex, I'm sorry, I can't ruin my own psyche/life just because Annabelle suggested it. LOOK AT THIS FACE!
I do, however, have two Kevin Lee conspiracy theories.
Conspiracy Theory #1: Kevin Lee is a Russian spy.
It's impossible to find any information about Kevin Lee other than his professional website. I went so far as to conduct an extensive "Kevin Lee origin story" search on google for roughly 3- 5 minutes and found nothing. It's just his business website that gives a phone number (not his, I tried calling it) and pictures of weddings that are either the most delightful things I've ever seen OR hideous abominations. I for real can't tell. Where is "Kevin Lee" from? Who is Kevin Lee's mother and where does she live (no seriously, what's her exact address, I want to stalk her.) What did he look like as a child? Does he ski? Does he like hummus? I feel like if he's not a double operative, then maybe Trump removed Kevin's information from the internet because if he used to look like this...
... then humanity would find world peace and Trump's evil plans would be foiled.
Conspiracy theory #2: Airbrush Gate
Did the producers of this show go through frame by frame or does he actually irl have a way better ass than me? Either way, what will the illuminati think of next?
Do you love him as much as me?